Busy and Happy

These days, most of us are so busy that we don't even have time to think about why we are busy. I want to take a little break and sort through my busyness.

Everyday, as soon as we open our eyes in the morning, we are in debt: there are homework and deadlines, and there are preparation for summer.There are always things to do, one after another. Read New York Times, reply to emails, and prepare for interviews. Our daily routine has so dominated our lives that we don't even have time to sit down and ponder over the purpose of all these.

Pondering won't necessarily render realization. We might still be very confused after all those pondering. But it's better than living a mindless life.

There are so many wonderful people around us, and I will be very glad to spend the whole weekend with anyone of them, listening to their stories, going into their world. But the calendar reminds us of the six deadlines before the end of next week, and we have to say, "it's such a joy to spend time with you, but I need to go back to my work".

It's always nice to see people hanging out on the lawn, playing music and Hula-hoop. At least someone is enjoying life. Can I afford such luxury? What am I missing? What am I doing? What's worth what? It's so easy to fall into such self-pitying state of mind.

I need to remind myself of the choice that I have made. To sacrifice is to gain. We can't have the best of everything. I am optimizing my time and utility, and I am very happy with it. I am not just paddling in a little lake; I am going to sail across the oceans and around the globe. It is then natural that I will spend more time building my ship and learning about the voyage. This is the choice, and I embrace the pains and gains.

I am glad to have conquered procrastination. I don't waste time because the stakes are too high. The opportunity cost shows me the bottom-line. If I have sacrificed rock climbing, how could I then waste time on facebook? I could have been playing flute, so there's no reason to stare into the flashing screen with a blank mind.

One of the most beneficial thing I have learned to do is to close my computer as often as I could, and as soon as I am done using it. Once I close the lid of my computer, I open up endless possibilities. I can read a book, play music, go talk to people, go running or swimming, or just close my eyes, take a deep breath and relax. Computer sucks me into this little black box; it hurts my eyes, and restrain my thinking.

Always remember: I am the master of my life, not my scheduler, not my computer, not anything else. I need to be aware of what I am doing. Make the choice, and then make the most out of it. Never waste time, but leave enough room for self-reflection. My schedule is busy, but my life is happy.